ABOUT CHRISTMAS

I grew up knowing that Christmas is a time to get new 'ngoroba' dresses, to visit the neighbors who visited us last year and play hide and seek. Christmas was the time when there would be a variety of food to choose from. For quite some years this was it for me. of course we looked forward to Christmas for the obvious reason of new clothes.

Years later I learnt what  Christmas truly meant. That Christmas was the celebration of  the birth of Jesus Christ; the saviour who would die a shameful death on the wooden cross to save us from our sins. Now this felt even better. The story of the birth in the manger was extremely intriguing for my little mind.. Now that I fully understand I am grateful for the reminder at Christmas.

As we celebrate the birth of the saviour this year I pray this will be a different Christmas. More than the food and drink, family get together and ngoroba dress like me, I pray that we will recognize  the immense love that God had for us to send us His ONLY begotten son.

So here goes my Merry Christmas. Remember  God loves you that much. Care to love Him back?

EIGHT YEAR OLD ME

I am seated near this large window staring outside, remembering with nostalgia, the eight year old I used to be. Very bold and confident. So courageous I could recite a poem on AIDS at a wedding. I would say my three names to whom it did not concern. My voice was so loud. A microphone? What for? You can say I was kiherehere or is it kimbelembele but I would call it Super confidence. Those who met me as a child would bear good witness.

Then I grew up and became more aware of my surroundings. I learnt to tone down a bit; to speak softly. To never recite poems in public. The more I grew the more I shrank. I was taught there is a way of doing things. There is the generally acceptable standard to conform to. 

In her book Without Rival, Lisa Bevere says:

  "It is hard to escape the messages and messengers that tell us we are not good enough, young enough, smart enough,fast enough, and rich enough.We are bombarded in the hopethat we will shrink to their expectations. It is only human nature that we would want to deflect this incessant bullying that implies we are never enough."

True to her word, I did not escape.  I succumbed to the very trap.I was fed with the same message that the world feeds us all with " You are not enough" I unlearned the confidence I once had.The eight year old me would be surprised if she read this post.

So last week I came across this book by Joyce Meyer called The Confident Woman and I decided to read it through. Then as if for demonstration purpose, I met this woman who oozed with such confidence I was impressed. I saw in her the girl I once was; the woman I am now struggling to become.

Friend, does this resonate with you? Have you found yourself wondering if you are enough? Have you listened to stories that you should have shut your ears to? Have you taken heed of the deception? To insecurities?.

Join me as I journey towards taking heed of the truth. Listening to the right voice; The voice of the one who made us. Forget the lies you have heard.You are enough. Your true identity is only found in God who knit you together in your mother's womb.

AT YOUR WORD

I have never tried fishing in my life. Actually I had never seen Omena until I was 17.. If the price of fish is something to go by, I bet fishing is difficult.By the way, I see some advert of fishermen  singing to fish so that they can catch the big fish.Wait, how did I start a post about fish?

Well it started when I thought about the disciples fishing. They cast their nets all night long without catching anything.  Then Jesus tells them to put out their nets into deep water and to let their nets for a catch.. 

 

Seriously, given that they had been fishing all night they could as well have given up and claimed it was not their night. However, at the command of their Master, these guys gather their nets again and cast them one more time, this time, deeper..Deeper than before.  And as Scripture records in Luke 5:6-7; they caught so much fish that their nets almost broke. So much so that  they had to ask for fishermen from another boat to help them. How now?

The very same sea that they had caught nothing the whole night is the very same sea that they caught such a huge number. So what changed?  Well the difference was Jesus.. A whole night without Jesus was futile but a few minutes with Him was so productive.. Friend I felt like reminding you of  the difference Jesus makes. You might have tried something for years on end but you can try it one more time, with Jesus in the picture. 

Today I challenge you to cast your net a little deeper.. You have toiled the whole night, I know. You have waited for your blessing for so long, yet Like Peter and his Cohort you can cast your net, one more time. You can trust the Master.. That though your weeping has lasted the whole night, your joy is on its way.Though futility and barenness have been your names, productivity will soon be your name.

THE REMNANT

The last one week has been a scandalous one punctuated with desperation from all corners. So much so that His Excellency could ask  "Sasa mnataka nifanye nini". 

 I will tell you that by the time a  commander in chief, a "His Excellency" asks the less than excellency what to do, things are hot and serious. By the time a primary school student answers that Kenya's gift to the world is corruption, then you concur that all is not well.

As the scandals  raged on and on,  I have been wondering whether there are people in Kenya that are not corrupt. I have heard phrases like 'Everyone is corrupt only that most are lacking the opportunity to be corrupt'. Is that true for you? I can tell from the stories I have been reading on the media that people generally have given up and do not see the need to hold onto integrity. For what? Some have even started asking, while others wait their turn to loot.

I am reminded of the story for Elijah, tempted to give up on his battle against the foreign gods. He felt so lonely in his quest to continue worshipping the One True God. Then in 1 Kings 19:18 God reminds him:

Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel--all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him."

I know the situation in Kenya feels hopeless. However, I remind you today that it will be more hopeful if you and I can purpose to be the remnants. We can decide that we shall not bow to the dragon. The dragon of corruption. 

Fellow christian, If God started counting His faithful remnants like in Elijah's time, would we be found among the 7,000. Truth is God is counting on us. Can we be counted on? Will we be that remnant?

HOPE SIDE

The month of October is slowly crawling to its end. It has been a good month. A cancer awareness month. .

I have had the opportunity to listen and read quite a number of accounts of survivors. One theme that I found in all of the accounts is the positivity. All of the survivors are so optimistic about life I was impressed.

On closer observation I noted that most people who have been through very rough patches in life are the most grateful. They all look at life through the glasses of hope and the frames of optimism. Those that have lost much are most often most grateful for what is left.

Friend, must life teach us to be grateful by breaking us?  Life is beautiful. Appreciate it. Let it not take a tough rough experience to appreciate the beauty and gift of life..

See you on the hope side of life.
Best Wishes.
Mwarray

MY GOLDEN CALF

What is the place of God in my life? What will be His position when I grow older, wiser and richer? When I finally "have it all"? These are questions that have lingered my mind for months on end. I pose the very same questions to you.

I ask these because sometimes when we read about Aaron and the Israelites making a golden calf and worshipping it, we shake our heads shrug our shoulders; wishing we could cast a stone right at Aaron's forehead and ask "Who does that?' "How could you?".

If for  a moment we took a keen, honest look into ourselves we'd realize that we are not worthy to cast a stone. We'd be surprised  that like the Israelites we bow to foreign gods.. We have carved and worshiped some calf.Maybe not made of golden earrings as theirs; but they are "golden calves" all the same.

It is tragic that we have tried to replace God with earthly things that cannot take His place. We have turned to our careers, families, monies, friends, media,drugs to try to fill the place of God to no avail. We have become so engrossed in our seemingly busy schedules that we have neglected the Maker of the very time.

Friend, what is that golden calf in your life? That kalittle god that has replaced your affection and attention for God. That kathing that has become so significant to you that it has choked God out of your life..You know it full well. I know mine too that is competing with His position.

My charge for us today is to crush that calf and cast its ashes in the sea. That we would make the conscious decision to let God be in His rightful place.To never be deceived by the achievements of this life. Never to be blinded by the fleeting pleasures of this life.Am I suggesting that everything we do is a calf? No it isn't. However, if it totally squeezes God out of your life, then it is certainly a calf. A big fattened calf. 
Truth is the calves that we bow to will one day pass away.I ask that we'd give God His place in our lives i.e. at its EPICENTER.

WORRY LESS;PRAY MORE

I love Sundays because they are an opportunity to rest,rejuvenate and refresh. And of course to reconnect with God and people.It is a day to renew after a long week, in readiness for another week.
 

So on this particular Sunday, a few weeks back, I go to church as usual. Then these tiny toddlers;children I mean, are asked to minister.They step on the pulpit and with all the vim and vigour, begin to sing at the top of their voices: 

"Why worry when you can pray". 

They dance on and on and on. You know how children sing as if demanding an answer? That is exactly how they sang and danced. Like they were actually waiting for the congregation to explain,with illustrations, their reasons for worrying.

You see, there are those verses that I have read so many times but never really heeded to Matthew 6:25-34 is one such:  
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

For some reason, when there is cause to worry I could worry quite a lot, about literally anything.Of course I had heard men of God thunder Phillipians 4:6 a thousand and one times but I think this once, God decided to use a younger and softer mouthpiece to remind me

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

After the little children had ministered I was ready to go home. I think the sermon was already half-preached for me. On this Sunday,the children had touched the right nerve. They had given me a better alternative.A way to redirect my energy.

Today, I encourage you too to re-channel your energy.Rather than being a professional worrier like I was, be a prayer warrior. Those many worries that are wearing you down, take them to the Lord instead.He is the only one who can give you peace for today and hope for tomorrow.

TOMORROW'S A TAD LATE

Seven days ago I told you of how life is already happening, here and now  . In the same week I came across two songs that seemed to me that heavens were screaming something down at me.  The first was Tomorrow by Tamia which says in part:

Jesus said here I stand

Won't you please let me in
And you said I will
But tomorrow

Jesus said I am he
Who supplies all your needs
And you said I know
But tomorrow

Jesus said here I stand
Won't you please take my hand
And you said I will
But tomorrow

Then I came across Casting Crowns with the song The Very Next Thing that tells of how we trip over today setting sights on tomorrow. We wait for "Opportune moments" to be good while life unfolds right in front of us. Looking back we see the many things we missed out on along the way while waiting for the next thing. It says in part:

I spend all my time
Dreaming what the future's gonna bring
When all of this time
There's a world passing by
Right in front of me
Set my sights on tomorrow
While I'm tripping over today

Who says big things
Are somewhere off in the distance
I don't want to look back
Just to see all the times that I missed it
I want to be here and now
Starting right here, right now

With the very next words of love to be spoken
To the very next heart that's shattered and broken
To the very next way you're gonna use me
Show me the next thing
I'll do the next thing

I was challenged to say the least as I remembered the many things I have ignored as  wait for tomorrow which is not even promised.  

I love to share what I have learnt and this is what I have learnt in the last week, that it is in the very next thing that we are to be kind, loving, caring and all the good virtues we wish on ourselves.We need not wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow might be too late. So how about doing and being the best version of who God created you to be? How about being right with Him today rather than tomorrow?

NOW HAPPENING.

For two decades now I have been waiting for life to happen. I have waited for so long.In primary school, I wanted to go to high school. In high school I wanted to be in college. Total freedom. No bells. Consolation was its "Just a few more days, I will fly away to a land where joy shall never end." Heaven knows how loudly we sang that song in chapel. Campus was our land of joy.Or so we thought.

High school was done. Here Came Campus!.Yaaaaay.The long awaited freedom.  In first year; At last. But NO, I wanted to be in second year. I was tired of being a Freshman already. I wanted to be sophomore sooner. Then I realized there was too much work. I wished I was in third year. 

I was told fourth year was easier; the work load would be way less. The higher you go, the lesser the burden, they said. So I waited for that fourth year.. Always consoling myself that life would be easier then. From my window, I watched the fifth years in pyjamas all day. Playing cards in the day. Laughing so loudly in the night while I struggled with assignments. Of course I envied them; quite a lot. I wanted to be in fifth year.. So yes I got to fifth year and was busy; so busy.. I wonder how the previous ones had such amount of time. 

Then I was introduced to "out there". Where one is free from books. Free from crazy assignments, cats and rats.Life would be good then. Consolation: "Just a few more days". Just like that; campus was done.. Then came the out here.  Looking for a job. Dropping CVs all over and moving from office to another with brown envelopes.. Life was about to start. Life would soon start. I would be so happy. So the internship came, and I was excited to start life.. In the meantime, I was looking for a job. You know life is good when one has a job, I thought.. More money,more privileges. More joy. You know. So the search and the longing continued.

Somewhere in the"waiting for life to start", It dawned on me that all along life had been happening.They say life starts at 40..Well,I don't think so.Life began already. Life does not begin when conditions get perfect.. Not when you clear school, not when you get a job or get married. It is the time in between.That stretch between the mountain or the valley. At the centre of arrival and departure, is where the journey of life happens. The period between perfect and imperfect is what is called Life.

I am reminded of the story of a boy with a magical wand that he would pull whenever he was in a phase of life that he did not like. So he pulled during class time to go for break.He pulled his singlehood into a relationship then into marriage,into children, into adults then into old age.In his old age he realized his last move on the magic wand would be death. As he lay in bed  about to die he regretted  that all his life he had pulled his life away.

Friend,God ordered our lives in seasons and appointed a time for each. So stop "waiting" the season away. He is not surprised that you are in it because He is the author of time. So when its time to plant,plant.If to uproot,uproot.Don't let life pass you by as you wait for life to happen. It is happening. 

Here and Now.

Best Wishes

Mwarray

MOTIVATION

What makes you wake up every morning? Is it the insects that crawl up on your bed? Oh or the crowing of the jogoo being fattened for the festivities? Or the sun rays are too bright you cannot sleep? Ama the irritating alarm clock that is just too faithful for your liking?Wait, is it the loud music from your neighbour who recently bought a home theatre and is still fine tuning the sound? Or the fact that everybody is up anyway? Closer to the point; What exactly woke you up today?

Well, those are too many questions already.I asked the many questions because what wakes up in the morning is what determines how well we carry on with the day. Every gazelle runs fast enough to avoid becoming prey to the lion who also runs so fast to avoid staying hungry. That is how powerful a motivation is.
Trust me a deer would run slower of it weren't running for its life. A cheetah would slow down if its satisfaction did not depend on it. Both have to run as fast as their motivation. 

Like the lion and gazelle, we got to get running too. Not just running after food or from the predator, but running towards our purpose.I know it is God who woke you up.But,WHY? WHAT FOR?You see, for each one of us there is a God given purpose for which we are alive.

As Myles Munroe would say "We are still around because our being alive still has a mission to accomplish". When the purpose is the motivation, then we are able to exploit the potential deposited in us.

Honestly, there are days I have woken up simply because it's morning.However majorly, I wake up because of my desire to inspire hope and to make a positive difference in the lives of people in the simplest way I know.

That's me, how about you?

YOU CAN HANDLE

Today, I woke up thinking cables cables cables. Seems the electrons in me are coming alive and looking for a carrier. In my train of thoughts I got myself wondering why there are different cable sizes. Why is it that the cable used on a radio cannot be used on a kettle or a fridge? After all that would be cheaper for companies. Why do engineering students have to spend a whole semester bogged with information about how to size a cable? 

Well, making reference to the things I remember, I got my answer, that each cable can only carry current to its capacity. The amount of current an equipment needs goes hand in hand with the size of cable to be used. That is why we have cables big and small.

I got to a point and was relating that to our daily lives. Why is it that we all have different unique paths? Why do some people seem to have to fight stronger battles than others? Why isn’t life fair enough to allow us to play on a level ground? I’ll tell you why. It is because we have all been sized each to their capacity. As Paul would tell us in 

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. 

I am of the conviction that every trial that comes our way has been sized to our ability. I think that the same way that the servants were given talents according to their ability is the same way that we are apportioned trials according to our ability to withstand them. The shoe size for a child and that for an adult is different depending on the size of the foot. So it is for us in the trials and temptations of everyday life. 

As you go through that rough patch, I thought I should remind you and myself too, that you can make it through. God knows you can handle it. So be strong and courageous and know that victory is your portion. He will provide a way so that you can endure. Though it seems dark and difficult, God will make a way.

OCEAN NOT DROP

One of the most famous punchlines of a commercial on TV a few years back was "There is a drop of greatness in every man". It ran for quite some time and was a favorite of many .

Older now, I realize that there is not just a drop but an ocean of it. Not just in men but in women too. I have come to appreciate that everyone I meet is great regardless of whether they are my juniors or seniors.There is always something so unique about every person that crosses my way. There are so many things they can teach me. Ever heard of wisdom crying in the streets? Yes, it does cry through each person that I meet and interact with each day.

 

Could be there are people you have met and wondered why you had to meet them. Personally there are. For those who hurt us, we think that life was being unfair for allowing our paths to cross. I have however come to learn  that every one walks in and out of our lives for a finite season and for a concrete reason. Some to bring joy and others to bring sorrow. Yet each of them carries an invaluable lesson that we will need at some point.Each of them is accomplishing their assignment in your life.

Wisdom is learning to let in and let go of people when their mission has been accomplished.So am I suggesting that we start burning bridges? No I am not. After all there are bridges that, no matter how hard we try not to burn,  catch fire and burn themselves.

For the season they are around there is a reason. Maybe it's time to deliberately drink from the ocean before it is gone.. We never miss water until the well runs dry, or so the wise men of former generations taught us. It is true.So take advantage to learn from each person that life brings your way each day. And when the season is over, have the courage to let go.

HAND ME DOWN

In my previous post, Get back eight, I hinted to you my  position in the chronological order of children in my family. Now, I will tell you something else about the hand me downs. Last borns understand what a hand me down is.To be fair to the 'elder borns' reading this, I'll define it for you. A hand me down is an item that is passed on to a younger sister or brother. Those clothes, shoes,toys just anything that you pass on to the generation after you...Got it? Good.

Hand me downs are good. They save on costs especially when the month is around the corner and the sole of your best shoe is coming off. Or when the seam of your dress is ripped, at least you know you are covered coz there is that dress from your elder sister that can save the day. On that note, I register my appreciation to all the kind brothers and sisters who pass on. Huwa mnaokolea sana and for that we the late borns are grateful.

Lately, I have been thinking of the hand me downs in a different light. The hand me downs in our lives as Christians. By this I refer to having the spiritual leaders doing everything for us. Where we don't read our own Bibles and we wait on our pastor to hand us down what they have read. We don't pray we only wait on the  handed down prayers.Rather than worshiping we wait for the next session of praise and worship to lead us.

As Jesus died the curtain tore into two so that we could access the throne of grace without necessarily waiting on somebody else.We were allowed to ask for help when we needed it, to repent when we erred to speak to God at any time of day or night.

Please do not mistake me. ..It is not bad to have something handed down to us. As I mentioned, they really come in handy. My only bone of contention is  when we fully depend on them. You see, even younger borns have their own items before they receive from the elder borns. They do not fully depend on what they receive.  What they receive is only an addition. Just a bonus.

 One of my desires in the past few days has been to have A "No Curtain Experience." That tapping straight from the throne.I have depended on the hand me downs for long but now I desire to present myself before the mercy seat in person. More than the bread crumbs that fall off the table, I desire the whole bread served on the table.I wish that my desire would be yours as well. That we all can take some personal time to read the word and to pray on our own even as we ask others to help us. 
I pray that we will be able to experience Christ in His fullness.