I AM SORRY ME

Dear Me,

It's unlikely that I would write letters to you but today I needed to apologize for quite a number of things.So here goes my public apology to me.

Sorry for the days I tried to fit you in. To shrink you so that you could be liked. The days when I chose to pull back, say less, or restrain your magnificence in any way. Sometimes out of fear, out of logic, or out of the cleverness to survive. Too scared of shining too bright.

I am sorry for the times I  dreamt myopic dreams. Too near sighted and ambition-less dreams as if that would prove humility. Too afraid to dream big just so as to be like another. How did I expect you to fit in yet you were meant to stand out?

I know I spent too much of your life trying to shrink you. To bend in half.  To become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less YOU. Because I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted to fit in. I wanted people to like you. I wanted to make a good impression. I  wanted you to be wanted.I even made you break the Little promises  you had made.

There were times when fear overcame faith and I chose the former. When faith directed, but I chose sight instead.  Sorry for the time wasted in unnecessary caution and apparent fear.

Those days when I wanted to bow to societal pressure rather than to God. When I listened more keenly to the noises around that I missed out on the sweet Whisper.

I am sorry for the times I made you rely on your own strength. When I did not run to God for help.When my knees got too weak to kneel and my mouth too proud to confess that I could not make it on my own. Too arrogant to ask for help from the Source.

I look forward to better days ahead. To days of living out my full potential without fear. To days of total and complete surrender to God the maker. The days of reaching out to be who I was truly made to be. Of making a difference. Of a life wide open, impacting on others unapologetically.

Yours Sincerely,

Signed

Me.